Sora and Riku Go To School
by HikaruWolf
Summary: Oneshot crack. Me and some friends were thinking about what would happen if Sora and Riku came to our school. This is what we came up with.


Sora & Riku Go To School

Sora looks around terrified "Rikuuuuu! I'm scared! Riku? Riku?! Where are you??!" he looks down to see Riku had fainted.

The headmaster walks up to Sora and the unconscious Riku. "Welcome to school! You're first lesson is maths, on the top floor. Waaaaaaaaaaay up there" He points to the 50-storey building towering above them.

Sora gulps and slowly looks up with a terrified expression "up…there?"

The headmaster nods "yup! Have fun, and before I forget, here's all your books and a free crappy-bag-that's-probably-going-to break" He drops it all on Sora & walks away, leaving Sora on the floor not moving, except for a small twitch.

(Sora climbing the shudders stairs)

Sora pants as he crawls up the shudders stairs. "Going…to…die" Sora thinks for a second and a lightbulb turns on above him (like in cartoons). "I know! SUMMON!"

Peter Pan appears overly happy as always. "Hi Sora!"

"Help…me up…the stairs" he collapses

Peter Pan sighs "Fine" He starts to drag Sora.

(2 Hours Later)

Peter Pan pants as he crawls up the shudders stairs carrying Sora "Dying…someone…help…me"

Sora looks up weakly and sees Riku at the top of the shudders stairs "Sora?! Come on you're taking forever to get up the" he shudders "stairs!!"

"How…the hell…did you…get…up there…so…fast?!!"

Riku points to elevator

Sora glares "Bastard!"

(Sora in Maths)

The teacher smiles that annoying smiles only a teacher can do. The one that says 'I'm only doing this so I can get paid so shut the hell up!' "Okay Sora, we need to give you a nice easy test, to find out what class to put you in."

"Okay" He starts the 'nice easy' test. "Lets see, question 1:

6x 53-7x(4069 967)² 19x(54938-2954³) 98573197 …um, teacher? Can I use a calculator??"

The teacher smiles that scary smile again. She was obviously enjoying this. "Nope"

"In that case…" Sora faints

(Riku In Woodwork)

The teacher looks at Riku and points to a nail and a piece of wood "hammer this nail into the wood!"

Riku nods "yes sir" He starts to hammer but hits his thumb. "OW!" he hits his thumb "OW!" whack "OW!" whack "OW!" whack "OW!" whack "SON OF A XEMNAS!!!"

The teacher thinks for a second "'son of a what?!"

Riku takes a deep breath "Xemnas was a stupid-ass Nobody who tried to destroy all humanity by collecting hearts for his Kingdom Hearts and he had a heartless who was a right idiot who took over my body and called himself Ansem but he was really Xehanort's(sp?) heartless and not Ansem's because Ansem doesn't even HAVE a heartless and just a little fact for you Xemnas' name also spells MANSEX and he hates it so I loved taunting him about it like over and over and I SERIOUSLY NEED TO BREATHE NOW!!!"

"Okay first, I stopped listening to you about 2 minutes ago, second, you are very good at holding your breath, third get on with your work…and cut you hair, it's too long!"

"Cut my WHAT?!! I WILL NEVER CUT MY HAIR! NOT AFTER XEHANORT'S HEARTLESS TOOK OVER MY BODY AND PLANNED TO MAKE ME BALD!!! I LOVE MY HAIR AND YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ME CUT IT!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"…can you at least tie it back?"

"Sure"

(Sora in English)

The teacher grins evilly "It's time for...a spelling test!"

(Scary music plays and lighting strikes outside the window)

"Let's being. Number 1, spell the word 'the'"

Sora whimpers. He's completely clueless. "Can you use the word in a sentence?"

The teacher glares, the glare that says that he's clearly not amused "The cat sat on the mat"

Sora: panicking but which "the" do I use? 'The cat' or 'The mat'? he whimpers

(1 Week Later)

(Sora In Maths…Again)

The teacher sighs "I'm sorry Sora," biggest lie of the century "but your test score was so bad, we are moving you into the lowest class, of the lowest year, of the lowest school" She smiles that smile again. "bye"

Sora goes to his new classroom & sees Riku smiling his head off "Riku?! Why are you smiling?! We're the dumbest people in the school!! The frogs in the Biology lab have higher IQs than us!! And you're a year older than me!!"

"I know, but I just moved up a class!"

Sora sweatdrops "…I don't want to know."

**HikaruWolf: you have no idea how long it took me to type that equation!! If you asked me to work that out, I'd die!! I just went crazy with numbers, then looked at it and felt really sorry for Sora.**

**Sora: scarred for life that equation…haunts me…**

**HikaruWolf: hugs Sora it's ok, it's over now**


End file.
